Tuesday, December 8, 2009

ULTIMATELY HELPLESS

So a little tidbit about me is that im so afraid of things like being robbed murdered, having my house broken into, that sort of thing. And its not your typical fear, like these fears plague me. I cannot sleep if im the only adult in the house. I always feel as if someone has broken in, even though all the windows and doors are locked. Every creek or rustle and Im up turning on every light in the house making sure no one is there. Anyways to get to my point, Last night I was going into the bank to deposit $500.00 into my account and I didnt notice till i was already in and had taken out a deposit envelope that 2 older homeless gentlemen were standing in the corner. In most cases my heart would have started to race and Id get all shakey thinking I was about to be robbed, but instead I just felt an aching in my heart. One guy was trying to light his lighter to smoke a cigarette but couldnt manage because his hands were that cold. All I could think of is how can I help these gentlemen. If I didnt have a family at home I would have brang them out to my car to bring them home for the night. It was so cold out and I offered to give them a ride anywhere but as I had suspected they had nowhere to go. I told them to have a great night and the gentlemen just begged me not to call the cops but thats the last thing that was on my mind. It was terribly cold outside and no one should have to sit outside in that weather. It was bad enought that they had to camp out in a bank. I drove from the bank to the 7/11 to pick up milk and bought to coffees and went to bring them back to the gentlemen but they were gone. Im guessing they thought I was gonna phone the cops. This morning I woke up and my mother had called to tell me that it was -51 degrees celcius with wind chill factor last night. All day I have thought about these 2 men. Are they ok, did they find a warm place to rest last night, or did they go back to the bank after realizing that the cops were not comming after all. I just feel helpless. In this weather and being the Christmas season Im blessed to have a roof over my head let alone everythign else. I truly hope with my whole heart that these men had a decent night although at -51 I think I should have called the cops as they might not have liked the idea of sleeping in a jail cell but it would have been warmer Im sure of it

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